How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
