Dual....:-)
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
