Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Moan for me like Helen Keller
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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