i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
