I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
