hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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