(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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