shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
