You can't motorboat a personality
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
