The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
