I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
