I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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