just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
