i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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