Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Boobs speak an international language.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
