He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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