Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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