I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
