I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
