I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
