I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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