i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
