How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
