I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
