I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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