So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
