yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
