how can u be prego again
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
