Sponge bath it is.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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