So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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