I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
