Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
