i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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