you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
