worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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