After last night, I could never be a politician.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
