that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
