You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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