She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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