i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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