I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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