If that was your dad, he is hot
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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