Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
