The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
