Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
