I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
