WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
