You're completely useless in the revolution.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
