Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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