There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Actions speak louder than pants.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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