Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
