giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
