To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
